The Guilt That Comes from Throwing Out Santa
Keeping our Eyes Forward
After I posted the last blog on Instagram there was some really great discussion around Santa and what different families choose to do. I think the biggest thing we need to remember when exploring this topic is to trust that God is in control. While we want to do what is “right”, it can be easy to overthink these small decisions. And they ARE small decisions in the grand scheme of things. God’s word is powerful enough to save sinners regardless if they grew up with Santa or not, if they went to public or private school, if they had parents who loved the Lord or were drug dealers. No matter the childhood, the gospel saves. So, while it can be easy to worry about whether our children should read this book or watch that movie, in the end it’s not going to be what determines the eternal outcome of our children. We can trust that God is good, and he is in control.
So before you read on, remember to stress less. We do what we think is best and what will cause the least amount of bumps on the road, but in the end, salvation is up to our creator. Thank God for that!
In him you also were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and when you believed.
Ephesians 1:13
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I still have very young children, so there are many scenarios I haven't come up against myself. It’s really been a non issue for us but we also don’t have any older cousins, older siblings and school. Every family will have different challenges and different personalities in their kids. So keep that in mind.
These are some ideas I’ve picked up from other wise Christians along the way, and I’m sure you’d have more to add yourself! The list is never ending of ways we can navigate Christmas, and that’s the beauty of the life we live now. We are free to choose.
“I don’t want my kids to miss out”
I can understand the guilt of keeping fun things from our kids. The constant wondering, “Am I just being a Scrooge?”, “Am I overthinking this?”, “Other families from church do it!”
But don’t forget, we don’t belong in this world. We are foreigners, aliens, our citizenship is in heaven.
Our citizenship is in heaven, and we eagerly wait for a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ.
Philippians 3:20
We don’t live life to be comfortable, we live eagerly waiting what is to come. And as we live like citizen’s of heaven, there will be times we “miss out” on the things of this world in order to do what is right and good in the eyes of the Lord. This is good! We don’t WANT our kids to fit in. There WILL be times they miss out.
Missing out or guilt should never be the motivating factor for the decisions we make. We are motivated by what we DO believe, what we think is GOOD. Whatever you choose to do, know that you are setting your child up for something much bigger, and make Christmas fun and exciting in other ways as you celebrate Jesus. Use the opportunity to look forward as a family and long for what is to come.
“I don’t want to spoil it for other kids”
Have you found it mostly seems to be adults who get upset that your kids don’t believe in Santa? Especially if your kid happened to be the one that let the cat out of the bag? No one wants to be THAT family right?
Here are some ways I’ve heard families explain it to their kids:
“Some families like to play a game where they pretend Santa is real. We don’t want to spoil the game for them.”
“Every family believes different things and that’s ok. We can share what we believe, that Jesus is the King of the world.”
“Different families have different traditions, maybe you could ask them about theirs.”
“If someone tells you they believe in Santa just say “I don’t believe in Santa” and leave it at that.”
And it really comes down to, how to we teach our children to value truth, but also be understanding of other people’s beliefs? To have wisdom and kindness accompany honesty? Because the fact is, kids blurt out the bluntest things with no malice intended! I’m not sure these are lessons that can always be taught, sometimes time is the answer.
But as we do teach them, I think we want to keep a few things in mind. The first is, telling the truth, even if it’s blunt, is not bad. They haven’t done anything wrong. And while other parents may feel comfortable telling stories to their children, it’s not on your child’s shoulders to keep these stories for them. Parents tell their kids these stories knowing full well someone will “ruin” it for them one day, that is the risk they take. There could be worse things in the world than having a child who is honest.
I also think we want to be cautious not to tell our kids, “don’t tell the other kids the truth,” because our ultimate goal is to train up children who know they’re different from the world, share the good news that they have, and show wisdom and love as they do it. We WANT them to tell the world the truth!
But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into him who is the head—Christ.
Ephesians 4:15
Their main job while here on this earth is to share the truth about Jesus Christ, and they will find themselves in opposition to the world as they do this. Every family has different beliefs, and it is o.k for us to challenge these beliefs. In fact, we are commanded to challenge these beliefs. Sometimes kids will speak a truth that no one wants to hear, and that’s o.k.
So, encourage your child to be cautious in how they use their words and show them how to do that, but don’t get mad if they aren’t. Keeping secrets for other adults is not their responsibility, nor should it be.
Keep an eye out for the next installment, “How not to be a Scrooge”