Why we don’t do Santa
I grew up in a secular household who did the whole Santa thing. My husband grew up in a Christian household who didn’t. Neither of us feel like our experiences were traumatising or particularly formative, and we didn’t really give it a second thought until children were on the horizon.
But when we did start talking about it, it seemed like an obvious choice for us to not do Santa. And it wasn’t because we were ANTI-santa but because we were PRO other things. And that seems to be a common theme as we decide how to do family life. Our decisions are largely based on what we are FOR, not against. So, there is no Santa hate here! And yet, in our house he just isn’t really a thing. Here are some reasons why.
In our family we tell the truth
This is a fairly fundamental principle in our family and it affects the way we parent and our expectations of our children. We seek to use our words to build each other up, to speak the truth in love, to remind each other of the gospel, to repent to each other, and ultimately, we want our words to be trustworthy.
Because we are FOR these things, it means we don’t do other things.
For example:
We don’t keep secrets. We can have surprises (where the person will find out soon enough) but no secrets.
We don’t tell ‘white lies’ to gain compliance or good behaviour. Things such as, “you wouldn’t like this cake, it’s spicy,” or “if you don’t eat your carrots you won’t see in the dark.”
We don’t make threats we don’t intend on following through on, like “If you do that again we’ll leave the park straight away,” or “If you keep doing that you won’t get any presents on your birthday.”
It also means we don’t do Santa, because… well, it’s not true.
I remember hearing someone talk about the day they stopped believing in God and it was the same day they found out Santa wasn’t real. In their mind, if their mother could lie to them about Santa being real, maybe she was also lying about other things she had taught him on, like God. Maybe neither of them existed…
Truthful lips endure forever,
but a lying tongue, only a moment.
Proverbs 12:19
As we tell our children unbelievable stories about people being instantly healed, God creating the world with words, the Red Sea being parted, walls falling down at the sound of trumpets, God the Son being killed and then rising again, the possibility of our sins being totally forgiven… we hope and pray that they will believe our words and continue to trust them as they grow.
I want my children to know their parents are people of integrity, honesty, and truthfulness. When I tell them these unbelievable stories, I want them to know they can trust what we say. So, while Santa is fun, and magical, and exciting, he's not true, so we don’t say he is.
2. Santa promotes works based righteousness
This really comes down to the question: “How can you be saved?” Many people would answer, “Try to be a good person and hope for the best.” But we know this isn’t true. There is NOTHING we can do to do saved, because salvation is a free gift.
For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift— 9 not from works, so that no one can boast.
Ephesians 2:8
Our salvation comes from God, not the good things we do. And we will spend so. many. years. trying to convince our children of this. It’s not a box that can be ticked or a list to be finished. God loves and forgives us not because WE are good, but because HE is good. In fact, he forgives us despite the fact that we are bad.
And yet, there are so many things in our lives that will fight against this! And in comes Santa:
“He's making a list and checking it twice
Gonna find out who's naughty and nice”
Santa rewards children who are good. The elf on the shelf tattles on naughty children. And while this has fairly horrible implications for children who are poor, the bigger implication is what it says about our righteous behaviour. If we are good, we are rewarded. And honestly, I just don’t want to undo all the work I’m doing with my kids teaching them that God died even though we were his enemies. Grace is the FREE gift of salvation.
It means we don’t do Santa.
It means we never take away gifts we’ve promised because of bad behaviour.
We don’t bring up mistakes they've made after the fact.
We don’t even use reward charts!
This is such an important lesson for us, we want everything we do to emphasise the grace that Jesus brings us. Santa is just one of the things affected by these truths.
3. Santa is like a mini God
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness’ sake
He can even deliver toys all around the world, down my chimney that doesn’t exist, in a single night!
Santa is omnipresent (everywhere at once), omniscient (all knowing) and omnipotent (all powerful). Wow!
And then we build a sort of shrine for him at night with milk and cookies to try to appease him. (ok maybe that’s going a bit to far but… you get what I mean right?)
God is Holy, he is set apart and unlike us. He has attributes none of us have and I just think we need to be careful sharing those attributes with mythical, or even real, creatures.
4. It’s hard to compete with him
Man, he’s exciting isn’t he? Who doesn’t love a guy who delivers toys in a red, fluffy suit? The anticipation, the excitement, the magic! And while that’s why many people do Santa, it’s all very distracting to what I’m trying to achieve. We talk about Jesus all year round, but Christmas is a great excuse to really focus in and spend good time learning and remembering why Jesus turned up.
Leading up to Christmas we spend time reading the Bible, making gifts for people, going to events, serving at church, reading books, doing fun things as a family… all these things reinforce bigger truths and values. I just don’t really see the point in adding something that will only take the focus away from other important things. It takes time and effort to keep up this pretense which only teaches values we don’t align ourselves with, so, I just don’t bother with it!
Some people seem to think not doing Santa is cruel, but it hasn’t ruined Christmas for us just yet! I LOVE Christmas time, and so do my kids. We have a lot of fun, even without Santa, and I know that these lessons are working towards something bigger.
Check out my next blog - The Guilt that comes from Throwing Out Santa